I’M LOST TOO
A film about counter-acting violence and hate with love.
This movie has been a long time coming. I consider it Our Random Acts of Kindness’ second official film: it was started in October of 2010 and since that time dropped off the radar until about a week ago, when I actually got the time and inspiration to edit it. The main part of the delay was the inspiration: I needed to find the right tone and feel and be in a sort of ‘zone’ in order to get it done. And I think that it worked out well!
So thank you to everyone who submitted photos and/or videos, I know you’ve been waiting a long time but here it finally is! Thanks also for being an amazing audience and such a supportive group of people on this blog. To get furtherly involved in this movement, once again remember to check out
“The Mindless Menace of Violence”, a speech given by Robert Kennedy.
“Nuvole Bianche” by Ludovico Einaudi.
“Teardrop” by Jose Gonzalez.
Footage of the Srevrenica Massacre, Sri Lankan Genocide, Darfur Genocie, Iran Protests in 2009, Martin Luther King’s ‘I Have a Dream’ Speech and Global Volunteers - South Africa.
"For the past days, maybe even the past months, I've been confused about who I am. :( Sometimes I feel like I have to stop caring because living hurts, and the pursuit of happiness is just that -- a never-ending pursuit, where you taste happiness for a fleeting moment and then it vanishes. I've felt anger, frustration, hurt, sadness, and genuine happiness in flashes and bursts. I guess this is what happens when your heart breaks... and the bad part is that I still love him. With every breath, every sappy word, and every tear. When he cries and holds me close and seems genuine that he loves me, I can't help but put everything aside and place his head gently against my heart and to calm his tears. Sometimes, when I do this, I forget that I'm crying too. All that matters in the whole world is him, but all we ever seem to do is hurt each other. Every six months or so, I catch him flirting around with other girls, and the whole process starts again. I would feel lost for days, and he would act like I'm his whole world. Inevitably, I would fall in love again, and things would be great... until the cycle starts again.
Three days ago, the cycle started again.. :( and this time I feel like there's no heart left in me to love. He made me realize that I've never forgiven him from the first time he broke my heart. And he's right.
I've gotten paranoid. I've become obsessive.
I know that I wonder what he's doing and I wonder whether he's cheating again, talking up his exes, or asking people to strip online for him.
He says the paranoia is eating the relationship up, but he doesn't know that its slowly killing me as well. So now, I want to change the cycle and say that I would never care. If I wasn't enough to make him happy, then he can look elsewhere. I promised to turn a blind eye to everything that he did, because I have no more care to offer and no more love to give.
I feel like I am undeserving, I feel like I'm trash. And he makes me feel bad for the mistakes in the past that I've committed. I used to know who I am. Headstrong, stubborn, goal-oriented, and a little vain.
But now, I am none of those things..
I am paranoia, a walking disaster, trash.
Sometimes I wonder where I went. And if I find myself, would I even recognize who I was?
I know it sounds like a teen-age sob story.
But I believe in what you're doing, and I hope when you put a smile on my face, I can turn around and put a smile on someone else's... and keep this positive-ness going <3"
It’s amazing how much another person can make you confused about who you are.
You need to know that whatever he makes you feel like, that’s not what you are. You are whatever you were at the high points: you are a person. He may make you feel like trash, but that’s simply because he is treating you like trash, not because you are. It’s a cliche line, but it takes one to know one. It takes an bad person to treat others like they’re worthless.
Never feel like you’ve changed completely, because people really don’t change that much. As different as you may feel, you are at your core the same person you’ve always been. You may be older, you may look different, but the same brain resides in your head and the same heart in your chest. Other’s may have kicked them around and ripped them to shreds, but they retain their definition. If you feel like you are different, it’s because other people have pushed you around.
Return to old habits. Read things you used to read. Remember how you used to feel. And then accept that it may be time for a change. It’s at these turning points that the best things happen.
I’m not going to say it will be easy, but I will say that it will break the pattern, and you can start to heal.
I’d love to send you a crane, as a part of my side project: something to remind you that you are a human, you have been roughed up a little bit, but you’re still alive, and you deserve to be loved :)
"My bestfriend and I have been fighting alot. We've been bestfriends for three years. I have a couple of friends but none I am comfortable around. My friend used to get mad at me for little things and now were growing apart. We have been friends for two years. Should I drop her or stay friends and push against the hardtimes? Or should I just be friends with her and not bestfriends? Thank you!"
In my opinion, I don’t think you should ever drop a friend. You never know what the future holds, so I’d say keep things open for friendship and work through the hard times.
"Hi . I was abused by my father , he was a drug addict , this went on for the first 12 years of my life . my parents are now divorced . & i am now 13 , which is considered a minor & the court is ordering me to go see my father , in which i have refused to do the pass few times . but , this time , i must go or my mom will be arrested & i'll have to live with him . & in time like this i really needed support . but , i have 1 friend , my bestfriend , who mad at me & does not wanna talk to me . & on top of that my boyfriend just broke up with me , & gave his friend (who is also a drug addict, & has a child of his own & is 14) permission to date me . my boyfriend knew everything i've gone through . & he is letting his friend harrass me over the internet , in sexually ways . knowing this makes me feel like my boyfriend had never cared & still doesnt . i have a very low self confidence , & i needed some words of support . Thank You ."
I can’t even imagine what this is like for you. You are incredibly, incredibly strong for even being able to talk about this, even anonymously. I have a side project called the Crane Project which sends origami cranes out to those that want one- I’d love to send you one. A reminder that there are people out there that are going to love and support you in the future. Don’t. Lose. Hope.
"I may not need as much love as others do. But I still need a little bit. I don't have a horrible life, and life is good to me. One thing that is hard for me is to feel really close to people. It seems that whenever I gain a best friend, then they either move away and lose contact, get married and move away, or try to stay in contact but eventually get too busy for me. I don't feel like I have a best friend. This makes it hard for me to tell people things when I need a shoulder to cry on. I'd like to have a friend that stays."
Lifelong friends are hard to come by. Don’t feel like you’re the only one to watch friends leave, and don’t think you’ll never find one that will stay. Sometimes it takes time for others to realize what your friendship means.
"I am in love with someone I've never met.
I've 'known' him for 6 months.
And I've told him how I feel and the rejection is staring me in the face.
If I leave him, I'll commit suicide.
What do I do?"
Above all, do not lose hope.
Remember what it was like when this person entered your life, and remember what your life was like before. And then remember that people will continue entering your life, especially when you least expect it, but only if your life continues existing. I know it doesn’t feel good to hear that there are others out there, but it’s the simple truth. And sometimes you need to leave something or someone in order to have a potential future with it or them. Your story may not end where you think it does.
Above everything, don’t lose hope.
My last 6 weeks have been... Horrible. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer 6 weeks ago and her battle ended around 3am on November 13, about 2 1/2 weeks before my 17th birthday. My mom was pretty much the most imporant person in my life. She was funny, kind hearted, sweet, amazing, stubborn, pig headed, you know... All the things a mom should be. I'm going through an extremely difficult time in my life right now and some love definitely would not hurt. I just feel like this is a really bad dream that I have yet to wake up from...
Ps. You and I are fb friends. We went to sequoia together."
I still can’t even imagine how hard this must be for you.
I was hoping to have this done by Christmas, but I don’t think it will: fear not, for they are still coming - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJMe0YTagjw
i.e. The cranes are for you and your family :] A bunch of people are currently at work making them, and when 1,000 are made I’m going to put them together and attach the pictures of everyone who helped. A belated christmas present for you.
"Turn on your ask! on zee november project vlog. & I love you putp tshirt, much love."
Done and done :) Shirts are now for sale if you wish to buy!
"I miss my ex so much. He wasn't the best guy at all, never went to school or anything and we fought all the time. We were on and off for two years. When we dated it was the best time ever, when we were broken up it was the worst. He was my first love, and no one understands how much he means to me. I don't need sympathy I just needed to get it out."
The best thing I can tell you comes form The Office: Andy Bernard has his heart broken when he finds out that his fiance is cheating on him. Jim Halpert then tells Andy that
1. Andy needs to stop acting like Jim and Pam should break up and
2. As much as Andy thinks that the truth of love is that your heart will always be broken, he will find love again.
I know that’s not terribly helpful and I know that you’re not looking for help, but I’ve found that it’s at the times when you are feeling at your lowest and loneliest that something or someone amazing happens to you. Just wait :]